Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Letter

Sylas,

I feel the need to talk to you tonight. I miss you terribly. I don't know how much my heart can break. Our time was cut to short. I miss feeling you at night. It's when I felt the very closest to you. I wanted so badly for time to stop when the nurses put you in my arms after you were born. I don't understand why we had to let you go so soon, but I know you are safe now and resting with angels. I pray each night that God will show you what kind of parents we would have been to you. That you will be held and loved like I would have held and loved you. My heart knows you are in a perfect place, but my mind isn't at peace just yet. I want so badly to be your mommy right now and right here on this Earth. Just know my sweet baby, that I will always be your mommy. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and long for you. Axton ask about you and even said you went with us yesterday to the Museum. I hope you got to see the smile on his face and hear his sweet giggles of excitement. He draws pictures of you and knows you are sitting with the angels now. You may not physically be here in this house with us, but you are always in our hearts! Never forgotten.

I wanted to share secrets with you I won't be able to share as you get older. Mommy puts the money under your pillow, Santa is as real as you want him to be, Christmas is my very favorite holiday and Daddy says he doesn't like it, but we know the truth=) When your brothers are sleeping, I like to watch them and say prayers over them. I drink out of the orange juice carton when no one is looking. It hurts me to have to get on to your brothers. Mimi and Papa are my hero's, but Papa says hero's can't be alive. I think being a mom and wife to your Daddy and brother's is the greatest job of all! I cry when I drop Axton off at school. Sometimes I hide in the bathroom for a few minutes of quite time.

Those are just secrets for today Angel. More will come with time. I love you always! Keep a watch over us. Knowing you are there gets me through the day.

Mommy

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